This has
been a powerful exercise for me. It felt
difficult, if not impossible, to depict what my disease and recovery really are
to me in just a few words. I wrote a
bunch of random thoughts and feelings and arranged and rearranged words. As I did, I found that I was really digging
into the core messages of my disease and recovery. My eating disorder started as a thing in
which to find refuge, but quickly became nothing short of a living and very lonely
hell. The details are of no importance,
that’s the core and ugly truth of the disease for me. I was hoodwinked and then I was trapped. I became resigned to my disease. I knew sickness
was all there was for me and I would die alone.
Heavy stuff. Recovery is
light. My friend likes to say “wear
recovery like a loose garment”. I get
it. There is so much freedom in recovery
and in being able to move in whatever direction I please. I can do this because I’m secure in the
beauty of my recovery, and in the amazing examples and support I have all
around me. I don’t fear it all falling apart because what sense would that make? I couldn’t figure out how to add a very well
used mantra of mine to my slogan without making it too long, but it really does
represent my hope and faith in recovery.
In the voice
of something bigger I hear, “I didn’t bring you this far just to drop
you on your ass!”
When I’m in
fear, when I think I need fixing, when I want a fix, when I’m too tired, when I
can’t see the solution, I remember that I am never alone.
Weighing in briefly on my missed days…
- I have faith and hope today.
- The freedom to dance.
- Being Auntie Frannie Fran Fran.
- I LOVE my family. I
LOVE people. I get to
experience life with others.
- I have my giggles back.
- Women are special and priceless and I get to learn from other
women today.
- I trust in change today. I
pray for growth.
- I ENJOY parties and banquets and holidays!
- I have a purpose today.
- I am alive and life is good.
One reason –
I want everyone to hear and know
RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE
i really really love when you wrote "wear recovery light a loose garment" recovery does represent freedom! but when we are caught up in ours eds it's so hard to see that and to believe that. our eyes are clouded over so much that until we start taking steps into the recovery light, we don't see just how freeing and wonderful it can be. thanks for sharing that : )
ReplyDeleteYour posts in the challenge are really inspiring to me. Thank you.
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